I've been meaning to watch 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' for absolutely ages. It's been years, and this cold November evening seemed like the perfect opportunity to revisit THE action adventure film of my youth. But wait, kids are allowed to watch this movie? Check out this list of stuff that happens and then tell me how this film is rated P-freaking-G.
1. A rotting dead guy on some spikes
2. Alfred Molina dead on some spikes
3. South American guy dead with loads of peashooter arrows in his back
4. Indy shoots guy on fire IN THE FOREHEAD (blood everywhere)
5. Indy shoots Arab swordsman in broad daylight
6. Nazi Colonel's face shrivels like a raisin with blood pouring for every orifice.
7. Indy runs over blonde Nazi in big truck.
8. Belloq's head EXPLODES during the opening of the ark.
9. Toht's Nazi face melts and all his skin comes off and there's blood everywhere.
10. Big Nazi guy gets churned up by airplane propellor blades and blood goes everywhere.
I feel like I could go on! In this day and age, I would expect 'Raiders' to warrant at least a 12A. If someone can explain how 'The Matrix' is a 15, and 'Raiders' a PG, I've love to hear it.
This is not to say that I didn't enjoy 'Raiders'. Of course I did. Faces melted and heads exploded. It just left me wondering just how film classification has evolved in the last 30 years. What other films were incorrectly classified simply because of the era in which they were made? I've managed to rustle up a few examples, but I'd welcome any more suggestions anyone might have. So...
1. 'Hostel 2' and 'Once'. One involved slashing penises and blood showers. The other was about two Irish musicians falling in love. Yet, in America, both received an R-rating meaning that if you were under 17, a parent or guardian was required to accompany you. Go figure.
2. 'The King's Speech' receiving an R-rating in the States. Are you seriously telling me that kids under the age of 17 shouldn't be watching this charming, period drama just because it has a teeny tiny amount of swearing in a purely therapeutic context? Come off it.
3. 'Watership Down'. That whole movie should have been at least a 15. Apparently the BBFC still receive complaints about it's U-rating to this day.
4. Whilst researching questionable movie ratings, I just discovered that 'Jaws' is a PG. SAY WHAT?
5. 'The Witches'. Anyone who remembers the film adaptation of this Roald Dahl classic knows exactly what I'm talking about. When the witches all take their wigs off? Remember? Absolutely bloody terrifying. Nevertheless, rated U!
6. 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang'. Say what you want about this Disney classic. The child catcher was a massive paedo and that film would get slapped with an 18-rating if it were released today. And to think people are calling for films with smoking to be reclassified. Pfft.
7. 'Poltergeist'. Strangely enough, this was a 15 in the UK and a PG in the states. That's right. A PG. Not only is it scary as balls but a man RIPS HIS OWN FACE OFF.
It's hardly surprising then that Steven Spielberg is in fact partly responsible for the existence of the PG-13 rating in the States. So many of his films pushed the boundaries of what was acceptable in a PG that a good few of them (including 'Temple of Doom') were reclassified once the PG-13 rating was introduced as the median between PG and R. This was as a direct result of Spielberg lobbying Jack Valenti and the Motion Picture Association of America to push the rating through so that the Temple of Dooms of this world could exist without parental scrutiny. As far as I know though, 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' remains but a PG. Shocking.
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